COLUMN
Harvest of human chickens for Xmas

By Festus Adedayo
The unnamed woman had just given birth to a baby five days before. Her body was still wet as Yoruba say of mothers who newly underwent the pangs of labour and delivery. Pains must still be ricocheting round her navel. Ex-Queen of the Ooni of Ife, Prophetess Naomi Silekunola, and an Ibadan-based broadcaster, Oriyomi Hamzat, had promised her and her baby free food. This was done in a blast of publicity inviting her kid and 4999 other children to a funfair. The event was slated for Islamic High School, Bashorun, a suburb of Ibadan. The organizers said it would be an unprecedented funfair of freebies never given before. Hamzat’s Agidigbo Radio, based in the capital of Oyo State, is undoubtedly the darling of the common people. It is top of the radar, traffic-wise. Hamzat popularized the medium as one that tends to the needs of the common people and discusses issues agitating their minds.
Scholars have posited that everyday matters woven round the existence of the ordinary man are sex, cheap sex, poverty, food, crime, alcohol, divorce, gambling and sexual violence. Matters that are queer, uncommon and mind-boggling, which cannot be divorced from those everyday issues, are given pride of place on Agidigbo radio. Listeners gravitate towards the radio in their multiple of thousands. It is on Agidigbo you would hear stories of a less than 20-year old lady whose pregnancy is being contested by two artisan boys. Salacious details that evoke laughter and tears ooze out of the radio. Hamzat himself, renowned for the phrase, “E bá wa gbé’nu sí mic” – kindly draw closer to the microphone – popularized that phrase. It acquired a life of its own, becoming synonymous with someone being under public scrutiny. Or one enmeshed in petty misdemeanor. It is no wonder that in the Nigerian Broadcasting Service (NBS) rating, Agidigbo is No 1 in Oyo State. So, it should be common sense that if you advertize a funfair that would give N5000 – about $3 USD – to hewers of woods and drawers of water, in this T-Pain economy of Bola Tinubu, you would get more than you bargained for. Senegalese author, Ousmane Sembène, whose 1960-written book, entitled God’s Bits of Woods, discusses the fate of these underprivileged people in details.
The unnamed woman heard or was told about the alliance by Queen Naomi and Hamzat to provide succor for her new born baby. Not minding her “wet body”, she strapped her fragile new born baby to her back and headed for Bashorun. By 5am, the venue was already bursting at its seams with persons. Did some wicked people land Queen Naomi and Hamzat in trouble spiritually? This is a question being asked in some quarters.
If Hamzat and Olori Silekunola emerge from their current travails unscathed, they may learn to seek our Mothers’s faces in subsequent ventures. It is said that such gathering of a large crowd involving women and children are sacred and must be looked at from the lens of teleology. In his “Òṣòròmọ̀nìgà: Representations of witchcraft in Yoruba films,” (Nordic Journal of African Studies – Vol 30 No 2, 2021) Olusegun Soetan of the African Studies Department, Pennsylvania State University, venerates the place and value of witchcraftcy which he called àjẹ́ism. Òṣòròmọ̀nìgà, said the scholar, is one of the many cognomens of witches in Ifá divination systems and praise poetry. According to him, “among the many supernatural phenomena in Africa is witchcraft. (It) is both cultural and sacred, and its practices suggest that specific individuals have supernatural powers that enable them to bend physical and cosmic laws.” Known as àjẹ́ in the Yoruba society, Igbo call it amoosu while, in the Maka tradition of Cameroon, it is known as gris-gris.
Dauda Epo-Akara, a notable traditional musician, chanting the cognomen of witches, once said that if a cook who is preparing to pound yam fails to factor the Aje into its preparation, the pounded yam would lose its taste due to a myriad pf tiny un-pounded yam specks called “kókó” that will dot it. In the same vein, said Epo Akara, any cook preparing a meal of àmàla who fails to factor the Mothers into its preparation will have the àmàlà’s otherwise solid morsel become as watery as pap. Ulli Beier however disclaimed this widely held notion of Àjé as inaccurate. In a 1958 piece, he said Àjé “represents rather the mystic powers of womanhood in their more dangerous destructive aspect.” Perhaps, in concert with Queen Silekunola’s Ifè palace enemies and Hamzat’s traducers in and out of the microphone, the Mothers ganged-up to do the duo in last Wednesday. After all, Chief Ebenezer Obey, the Juju music great, once sang that those who pound evil for their fellow beings advertize no physical pestle, nor mortar – “agún’bàjé ò l’ódó”.
Sorry, I digressed. By the time the unnamed mother newly-delivered of a baby arrived Bashorun, it was brimming with a never-seen-before gathering of people. Her baby later became one of the 35 people trampled to death in the scramble for food. The baby returned to its maker without being given the traditional seven-day name. The BBC, in its report of the tragedy, said the 35 children “died in a crush after thousands turned up on the promise of free food.” According to it, some people slept overnight at the school gate so as not to miss the chance to be among the first 5000 to access the free food. Many attempted to force their way through, some parents attempted to scale the fence and some mothers threw their children inside the fence while they climbed the walls.
So, this past week, Ibadan wept. Everyone, even anyone, who was as unfeeling as to be capable of eating the barbecued bony and fleshless heads of a vulture and tortoise, must have wept with Ibadan. The agony reverberated throughout the rusty-roof city. Mothers wept uncontrollably. Tears became an infection, afflicting, at supersonic speed, eyes of anyone who heard of the tragedy. But the deed had been done. Thirty five lifeless bodies of the glory of Nigeria’s tomorrow lay in a heap. Someone showed me their gory photo. It reminds me of Palestinians’ bodies killed in airstrikes by Israel laid in a heap, waiting for the Salat al-Janazah prayer for the dead. Or hairs-peeled, disemboweled goats laid in heaps on an abattoir table by butchers. It was as if the trampled-to-death children of Ibadan were asleep. You couldn’t see death on their faces, except that life had escaped their nostrils. Mothers rolled on the dusty floor of Islamic High School’s football field where death chose to conduct its dawn raid. A few minutes after the raid; after the bodies had been taken to freeze inside the mortuary, Death’s mementoes lay on the football field. They had been abandoned in panic in the melee and now served as reminder of the human loss. They ranged from children’s sandals, torn books and cracked school desks. And gallons of tears that the greedy and unfeeling earth swallowed. Death must have sat somewhere treating himself to huge gourds of palmwine.
The lamentable deaths of children in Ibadan have since been enveloped by politics and doublespeak. Yes, there was acute negligence on the part of the organizers of the children’s funfair event. From tissues of information available, not only didn’t they seek government’s permission, safety measures were cavalierly or nil-observed. Their defence that they expected 5000 children but at conservative estimate, between 7500 and 10,000 children and parents attended, was wonky.
Among others, President Bola Tinubu, according to his media chief, “expressed sadness over the tragic incident” as usual, “extended his condolences” and cried that “this is a deeply painful moment for the entire nation.” He said he was “determined to prevent similar tragedies” and “uncover the truth behind this tragedy as “It is imperative to determine whether negligence or deliberate actions were involved” because “Our children’s safety and well-being remain paramount” and “No event should ever compromise their safety or take precedence over their lives.” Bla bla bla.
But, as my people say, until the lion kills the Chief Hunter, the war between hunters and the crew in the wild cannot end; nor can the dance come to a halt until the donkey farts. If Tinubu does not focus on bettering the lives of Nigerians but chooses, at the drop of a hat, to jump on a vacuous globetrotting and aimless junketing in the name of seeking non-existent investors, more Nigerians will come to grief. Shorn of politics and hypocritical talk, let us tell Tinubu to his face that he is vicariously liable for the death of the Ibadan 35 kids. His accomplices are those glib-talking aides and party buffs who deodorize the pains of Nigerians in the last 19 months, decorating sufferings in beautifully sounding reform epithets.
As I have said ceaselessly, while the Tinubu government claims the president is on a reform binge, he has succeeded in killing multiple of hundreds of our countrymen and sent hundreds others into the streets. Ravaged by depression, they whisper to space as they occupy a world of their own. Thousands die for inability to procure drugs for simple ailments. Many families and homes are embroiled in social crises as a result of a huge emasculation of their husbands, breadwinners’ manhood. Wives are lured into prostitution due to their husbands’ economic dis-masculinity. Children meet their waterloo in the process of augmenting their parents’ meager daily breads. Yes, reforms, all over the world, are painful exercises but Tinubu’s isn’t merely painful, it is cruel and bears the visor of Dracula. Yet, the reformists wallop in ostentation, mindless and Satanic corruption and flaunt their loots in our faces.
The dusts of trampled bodies in Ibadan had hardly settled than Nigeria witnessed similar stampedes this weekend. They happened during food distributions, leading to the deaths of at least 30 people on Saturday. While 20 people reportedly got killed in Okija, Ihiala Local Government Area of Anambra state, ten others died at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church, Maitama area of Abuja. Handled by individual and private institutions at both venues, the food distributions suddenly went awry when hungry would-be beneficiaries began to trample on one another. In March of this year, a similar stampede happened in Bauchi State which claimed the lives of an eight-year old girl and six other people. Like the Ibadan tragedy, the victims, alongside others, had stormed the house of a businessman who invited residents to collect N5,000. In October of this year, 153 people got burnt to ashes while they were scooping fuel from an overturned fuel tanker which exploded. The tanker had been coming from Kano State and heading towards Nguru when it overturned. Granted that Nigerians are used to a life of freebies no matter the risks that ensconce those freebies, Nigeria’s grueling economic realities have quadrupled the number of Nigerians who would take risk without considering its downsides. No sermonization of fair play, decency or normalcy can penetrate the deaf ears of the hungry.
Thus, when Tinubu and his minders try to push the blame of last Wednesday’s tragedy in Ibadan and the ones in Abuja and Anambra State to “crowd control breakdown” and vowing to avert similar tragedies, they look at the ailment and not its root cause. There will be many of such tragedies to come unless Tinubu stands up from his fanny and administers Nigeria like a committed leader.
In the midst of this, all Tinubu’s APC is bothered about is winning elections. While the bodies of the 35 dead were in the morgue in Ibadan, on a visit to the party’s National Working Committee in Abuja, Minister of Power, Adebayo Adelabu, called on the National Chairman Abdullahi Ganduje, to replicate the party’s recent electoral banditry in Edo and Ondo States as blueprint to reclaim Oyo State. Ganduje himself, like a skunk-drunk sailor, had said his party would create chaos in Osun and Oyo states to snatch and run with the states. Trust politicians, they think not about lives but the next election.
If Tinubu needed to hear – and per chance is bothered – these calamities, in the words of Bob Marley, are becoming a natural mystic that is associated with excruciating hunger and suffering. Both were brought on hapless Nigerians by the Tinubu government. “Many more will have to suffer; many more will have to die,” Marley warned. You can shawl the abdication of responsibility by the government in beautifully-sounding reform language. The truth is, figuratively speaking, this government’s inhuman reform gambling, which my people call “èyí je, èyí ò je,” is the culprit. It was what served the 35 innocent Nigerian kids in Ibadan, as well as the countrymen who died in stampede in Abuja and Okija, as Christmas season meal to be devoured by the incisors of the rapacious Death.
I wish you a merry and prosperous Christmas, longsuffering people of Nigeria, in the midst of this parlous season.
COLUMN
President Tinubu and June 12
Around this period in 1993, precisely on June 12, 1993, the day of that historic election, this writer operated in two different but mutually reinforcing capacities. While I was the Political Correspondent of the old Daily Times, covering the then-unfolding electoral process in Abuja, I was also an officer in the Nigerian Election Monitoring Group monitoring the poll in the federal capital. It was an important day in the nation’s life, as it was in my journalism career. The late Professor Omo Omoruyi, an intellectual giant and the brains behind General Ibrahim Babangida and his transition programme, who designed most of the electoral ideas introduced by that regime, including Option A4, had put the election monitoring group together.
As the Political Correspondent of the Daily Times, I had an uneasy sense of foreboding when the then National Electoral Commission, which had been announcing the results of the election on a display board mounted at the commission’s headquarters then at Area 10, Abuja, suddenly stopped adding new results after results from 14 states had been announced. I promptly filed a story on this strange and disturbing development. The next day, the late Dr. Femi Sonaike, Editor of the Daily Times at the time, ran a front-page editorial demanding the continuation of the publication of the results. I was beside myself in ecstasy at the NEC HQ, celebrating the editorial and Dr. Sonaike’s bravery and boldness. For a government-owned newspaper, the editorial was an unforgivable affront to the military. As it turned out, that was the last edition Dr. Sonaike edited as Daily Times Editor. He was instantly removed from office.
Then began a sad spiral of events, culminating in an announcement formally annulling that free and fair election. A dark pall descended on the nation. The country erupted in turmoil, with almost daily protests against the election’s annulment. The rest did not simply become history, as they say, but a profound history with compelling lessons.
This piece is not an odyssey of my journalism career. It’s about President Bola Tinubu and the undocumented contributions to June 12, particularly after that annulment. Tinubu played a frontline role in the conception and later agitation of the National Democratic Coalition (NADECO), which stridently fought for the de-annulment of June 12.
At the time of the election, he was a Senator of the Federal Republic. In defiance of the military, he and others reconvened the Senate that had gone on recess, during which they demanded the de-annulment of the poll or immediate termination of military rule.
For his agitation, the military hounded him. His residence at Balarabe Musa Crescent in Victoria Island, Lagos was petrol-bombed by agents of the junta who thought he had been burnt alive. However, he escaped abroad and continued the agitation, providing direction and funding for NADECO Chieftians abroad. All of that had been widely publicised and commended.
Many may also recall that iconic and viral picture, which circulated online, where Asiwaju Tinubu was seen behind the late Bashorun MKO Abiola as Abiola went to confer with the late dictator, General Sani Abacha, on the June 12 matter. The significance of that event signposted Asiwaju’s relationship with MKO as a trusted ally and his essential role in the then-unfolding struggle. Asiwaju Tinubu, it was learned, warned the late MKO to tread cautiously and be wary of Abacha or the military over June 12. As he often says, the military uniform is called camouflage, and camouflage, according to him, is a synonym for deception.
It is thus unsurprising that much of his contributions, particularly after June 12, remained indelible years after the death of Abiola, owner of the stolen mandate. The profundity of June 12 is evident in the fact that its ghost has refused to go away years after the restoration of democracy in 1999. President Olusegun Obasanjo, who inherited power on a silver platter and his Peoples Democratic Party, carried on as though oblivious of the historical import of June 12 and the ominous pall that its years of neglect had cast on the nation’s democratic system. Although the late President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua inaugurated the Justice Muhammed Uwais Electoral panel to reform the nation’s electoral process after admitting his election in 2007 was flawed, he battled ill-health for the better part of his presidency to think of June 12. President Goodluck Jonathan also remained seemingly unfazed about that annulled poll. For 16 years after the democratic renewal, the PDP government carried on with the utter neglect of June 12 and its symbolic place in our democracy.
However, President Buhari took bold steps to resolve the June 12 conundrum and put Abiola in his rightful place even in death. Recognising him as the winner of June 12 and as President, Buhari bestowed on MKO posthumously, the highest national honour of GCFR reserved for presidents. He also declared June 12 a national public holiday. Buhari gave Abiola’s running mate in the election, Ambassador Babagana Kingibe, the second-highest honour of GCON. Buhari’s gesture won him admiration and commendations.
Many didn’t know that Asiwaju Tinubu had made the recommendation to President Buhari.
Addressing the National Assembly last Thursday, President Tinubu again commended Buhari for this critical decision: “Let me pay tribute to former President Muhammadu Buhari for reaching back into history to rectify a national misdeed by making June 12 Democracy Day and by officially acknowledging Chief Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola and his running mate, Babagana Kingibe, as the victors and thus duly elected President and Vice President respectively of Nigeria after the June 12, 1993, elections.”
President Tinubu completed the restitution for Abiola and other heroes of democracy that Thursday. He conferred posthumous national honours on Kudirat Abiola, MKO’s wife, and other heroes. Agents of the military junta killed Kudirat on the streets of Lagos in the wake of the June 12 struggle.
It is relevant to state that certain things are instructive about President Tinubu and June 12. Tinubu became President in 2023, 30 years after June 12. Is this simply a coincidence or divinely ordained?
The late MKO Abiola christened his campaign manifesto “Hope 1993: Farewell to Poverty.” President Tinubu called his own Renewed Hope Agenda for a Better Nigeria.
Now, has the ghost of June 12 been finally laid to rest? Is MKO’s vision for Nigeria alive in Tinubu’s presidency? Vice President Kashim Mustapha Shettima thinks so.
Speaking during the public lecture commemorating the 26th year of unbroken Democracy, VP Shettima said decades after the June 12 debacle, providence returned the baton of Abiola’s struggle for a better Nigeria to “one of his most trusted lieutenants—President Tinubu.”
He affirmed that, based on the final account of Abiola’s life, the military could not take away or extinguish hope. “It is this faith in the promise of Abiola’s vision that has renewed the hope of this nation,” he said.
The work is not entirely done. Although the recent resolution of the National Assembly adopting June 12 of every year for the Presidential Address is a step in the right direction, as it will help to institutionalise June 12 and immortalise Abiola, I think MKO deserves full recompense for his contributions and for paying the supreme price for Nigeria’s democracy. The government should pay the debts if actually it owes Abiola some money, as his family claims.
In the meantime, President Tinubu’s pronouncements last Thursday at the hallowed chamber of the National Assembly stand as homage to resilience and a bold reminder of what might have been.
-Rahman is a Senior Assistant to the President on Media and Special Duties.
COLUMN
Two Years of President Tinubu: Two Stories Behind the Positive Numbers

By Tunde Rahman
Economists and commentators have written and said much about the positive trajectory and indicators signposting Nigeria’s economic growth. These indicators indicate that the reforms embarked upon by President Bola Tinubu since assuming office two years ago have begun to engender successful outcomes. The reforms are paving the way for economic recovery. The facts are self-evident and they speak for themselves too.
According to a World Bank report, the GDP grew 3.4% in 2024, the highest in a decade. Inflation is tumbling and is currently at 23.7%. The government is meeting its debt obligations. After the Central Bank of Nigeria cleared the forex backlog amounting to $10 billion, the debt-service-to-revenue ratio fell from around 100% to below 60%. Foreign reserves, which instill confidence in investors to come in and exit with their profits as they wish, now stand at $38 billion.
Just as remarkable is how national revenues have increased exponentially, resulting in unprecedented increases in allocation to sub-nationals. Such growth has been a significant shot in the arm, giving them the much-needed fiscal impetus to fund projects and cater to the welfare of their people. The increased revenue also helps partly finance key infrastructure projects such as the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Road and the Sokoto-Badagry Superhighway. Last week, President Tinubu inaugurated the completed Phase 1, Section 1 (30km by six lanes) of the 750km Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway.
These strides have been phenomenal. But there is more work for the government to do. The administration also has a few challenges to tackle. The macroeconomic gains highlight the need to impact microeconomics. The positive economic statistics must impact the living standards of the most significant number of our people. They must affect their living standards, especially the cost of essential goods and services. The government needs to reduce unemployment significantly, just as it needs to make the country much safer.
However, as I have often argued, President Tinubu’s achievements in two years are not mere happenstance. They did not come by wishful thinking. They result from a bold vision outlined in his Renewed Hope Agenda, uncommon courage, and unrelenting hard work.
This piece explores just two stories that speak to the courage, audacity and determination of President Tinubu to do things differently. The first happened a day before President Tinubu’s trip to Rome, Italy, on May 17, 2025, for the inauguration of Pope Leo XIV. Invited by the new Pope, the President’s decision to attend the event, accompanied by Catholic bishops, was remarkable in the context of the President’s religion and that of his vice-president. In the build-up to the 2023 election, the opposition claimed the two leaders would turn the country into an Islamic state. That did not happen. Instead, they are running an administration that is blind to religion. Christians, Muslims, and adherents of other religious leanings get their dues.
I was at the residence to see the President around 2 pm just after he had performed the diplomatic ceremony of receiving letters of credence from some ambassadors. From that period, he was in his home office, working on files and receiving governors, top government functionaries and other guests who had visited till around 11 pm. Those who visited included Imo State Governor Hope Uzodimma, Secretary to the Government of the Federation Senator George Akume, Attorney-General and Minister of Justice Lateef Fagbemi(SAN), Minister of Solid Minerals Development Mr. Dele Alake, Minister of Marine and Blue Economy and former Osun State governor, Alhaji Adegboyega Oyetola, as well as top businessmen including Alhaji Samad Rabiu of BUA Group. In that long period, the only other thing that went into that office was his lunch. It’s not an isolated pattern. The fact deducible from all this is a bewildering work ethic. President Tinubu works unusually long hours. He devotes virtually all his time to the Nigerian project. So, his success is a product of hard work.
His uncommon courage and audacity are well known. His policy options, particularly removing the unsustainable subsidies on fuel and forex, were things leaders before him found appropriate and desirable if the country must move forward but lacked the courage to implement. Fuel subsidies were corruption-laden, while the multifarious foreign exchange windows incentivised arbitrage. For instance, between January and June 2023, fuel subsidies alone gulped N3 trillion, and the bulk went into the pockets of the oil cabal.
An important subtext of this story could be glimpsed from Mr. President’s response when I asked him about the influx of governors, lawmakers, and top chieftains of other parties into the All Progressives Congress. He replied: “Yes, they are coming because they have seen the success of our policies. The economy has virtually rebounded, and the country has turned the corner. Do you think they would defect to our party if I’m not doing well, and the policies have turned awry?”
President Tinubu hardly allows any opportunity to bask in well-earned moments of glory to elude him. He often says, “I have a bragging right here. It is my turn to brag over this.”
The President is, however, not unmindful of the fact that the macroeconomic gains achieved by his administration thus far have not fully impacted the streets and pockets of our people. He has also spoken of this. At the inauguration of Phase 1 of the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Road referenced earlier, President Tinubu appealed to Nigerians to be patient with him.
“I know your expectations are still very high at this stage, and our people are still going through difficult times. I take this opportunity to appeal to all Nigerians that hope is here, and it is realisable,” he said, adding: “You would be proud of the benefits; there is light at the end of the tunnel. Inflation is coming down; we have eliminated the corruption in the exchange rate; the corruption in fuel subsidy is now limited to the barest minimum. It is all for you, the people; we are reducing the cost of manufacturing and encouraging manufacturing locally. We give all incentives for everyone to abide by the principle. May God bless our country; may God bless Lagos State and keep our fighting soldiers safe,” he said.
-Rahman is a Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media & Special Duties.
COLUMN
Tinubu, Sanwo-Olu and the fish god

As Ngugi wa Thiong’o says in his Wizard of the Crow, (2007) ire is more corrosive than fire. Make no mistake about it: President Bola Tinubu is angry. When Tinubu was similarly angry, I wrote a piece entitled Tinubu the Ap’ejalodo and his strange fish friend (September 18, 2018). That fable was one of the stories that helped to tame the greed of pre and post-colonial Yoruba society, as well as any tendency within it to play God.
By that 2018, Tinubu had made up his mind to replace Akinwunmi Ambode as governor of Lagos State. The piece, using that anecdote, was to warn him not to take the place of God. Suchlike stories helped to shape the moral man in Africa. His cosmology was governed by anecdotes, lore and mores which prescribed moral codes. For centuries, these sustained the associational and moral forte of Africa. Anecdotes that restrained a potential emperor from treading the path of ruination were told to children, even in their infancies; same about petty thieves who came to ghastly ends. For instance, the destructive end of greed was foretold in pre-colonial Yoruba society in the emblematic story of Tortoise and the scalding hot porridge on the fire he stole and covertly put on his head. It burnt his scalp. Permit me to retell the anecdote.
Set in an African village, the story is that of a young wretched fisherman (Ap’ejalodo) who was ravaged by failure. He was unable to catch enough fish over the years to rescue him from the pangs of lack. One day, however, as he thrust his fishing hook into the river, it caught one of the largest fishes he had ever seen. Excited, Ap’ejalodo pulled his awesome catch up to the river bank and proceeded to yank it off the hook.
As he attempted to carry it to the basket, however, the fish began to speak like a human being. Ap’ejalodo was at first afraid but he eventually pulled himself up and listened to the sermon of the strange fish. Singing, Ap’ejalodo, mo de, ja lo lo, ja lo lo… (Fisherman, here I come…) the fish pleaded to be rescued by the fisherman.
It promised that if the fisherman spared its life, in lieu of this rescue, he should ask for whatever he wanted in life. Excited, Ap’ejalodo let it off the hook and asked for wealth. Truly, by the time he got home, the ragged clothes on him and his wife had become very big damask agbada and aran respectively, with their wretched hut transformed into a big mansion. Both now began to live the life of unimaginable splendour.
After a few years, the couple was however barren and the wife entreated Ap’ejalodo to go fishing again and ask his fish friend to rescue them from the social shame. As he thrust his hook into the river again, it caught the strange fish and the earlier process was repeated. This time, he asked for a child and the strange fish granted it, giving him children. Over the years, the fisherman magisterially summoned the fish through same process and the fish bailed the couple out.
Then one day, Ap’ejalodo and wife were just waking up from their magnificent bed when a blinding and intruding ray of the sun meandered into their bedroom. Enraged, Mrs. Ap’ejalodo couldn’t understand the audacity the sun had to intrude into their sacristy. Couldn’t it respect the privacy and majesty of the richest couple in the land? She then angrily commanded Ap’ejalodo to go meet his fish friend and ask that they be given the power to control the temerity of the Sun and other impertinent celestial forces.
Off Ap’ejalodo went to the river bank, thrust his fishing hook into the river and again invoked the strange fish. And Ap’ejalodo made his plea. The fish was peeved by the fisherman’s greed and audacity.“You were nobody; I made you somebody and you now have everything at your beck and call. Yet, you want to compete with God in majesty and you will not allow even a common sun to shine and perform the illuminating assignment God brought it to perform on earth!”
The fish angrily stormed back into the river and as Ap’ejalodo, downcast, walked back home, his old torn and wretched dress suddenly came back on him, his mansion transformed into the hut of the past and the couple’s latter wretchedness was more striking than the one of yore.
After writing that piece in 2018, as fate would have it, I was wrong and Tinubu was right. In spite of the several entreaties to him, Ap’ejalodo had his way and Ambode became history. Today, Ap’ejalodo has warred with all his governor nominees since 2007. He attempted to remove all of them but only succeeded with Ambode. On each occasion, he made himself the victim of his disagreements with his mentee governors, answering to that Oscar Wilde statement that you cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies. Babajide Sanwo-Olu has joined the infamous train of victims of Tinubu’s ferocious anger.
As far back as January of this year, sullen murmurs of bees of power in Alausa and Aso Rock hinted that Ap’ejalodo was angry. While Ambode’s err was failure to offload requested funds, Sanwo-Olu’s was his indiscretion and temerity. An alleged female friend of the governor was said to have helped him courier Lagos funds to Atiku Abubakar and Peter Obi to enable him win the 2023 governorship. In violation of the laws of power, Sanwo-Olu thus outshone the Master. While he won his Lagos election, Ap’ejalodo lost. Ap’ejalodo actually didn’t mind him losing the election, with the aim of cutting his wings but regaining his overlordship of Lagos in a subsequent estimated victory in the court. At a meeting of the two, while the governor swore his innocence, Ap’ejalodo was said to have derisively laughed him off, maintaining he had security reports which affirmed the transaction. The stroke that broke the camel’s back was the governor’s effrontery in removing Speaker Mudashiru Obasa, Ap’ejalodo’s protege who had been overtly rude to the governor.
Twice in a week, Ap’ejalodo has ridiculed Sanwo-Olu, at both the Lagos-Calabar highway and Lekki Free Port road commissioning. He skipped shaking his hands in one and ensured his absence in the other. You could hear the ghoulish cries of vultures waiting to feed off the flesh of the governor. At the Port road commissioning, Ap’ejalodo was fuming from all cylinders: “I am glad the Deputy Governor of Lagos is here. Take it that we will remove all those approvals given on the setbacks already given. No more planning approvals for those unplanned island being created illegally,” he said. Ngugi wa Thiong’o was indeed right. Ire is corrosive.
Ap’ejalodo, having been lifted up by his fish god friend to have an elephant firmly rested on his head, still wants to know what tiny crickets are doing in their small holes. He is enraged by the audacity of Sanwo-Olu’s Sun to intrude into his sacristy. Couldn’t the lanky fellow respect the majesty of the No 1 Citizen of Nigeria, its richest man and the most powerful in the land?
Again, I am certain that we are about to witness the denouement of this macabre drama of Ap’ejalodo trying to appropriate and approximate the power of God. Perhaps, the young man who stoned the Iroko tree some years back is ripe for celestial forces’ retribution at his attempt to wear the same trousers with God?
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